And All I Used To Get Was An Action Man.

A man who asked a prostitute to take his son's virginity as a present for the 14-year-old has been spared jail.

The Polish national took the boy out in his car and allowed him to pick the prostitute, who was standing at the side of the road in Nottingham's red-light district.

But the 42-year-old father was arrested after the teenager chose an undercover police officer, Nottingham Crown Court has heard.

The man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was handed a 10-month prison sentence, suspended for a year.

The full-time carer, from Bulwell, Nottingham, earlier admitted a charge of trying to solicit a woman to have sex with a child.

Health & Safety Gone Mad.

It's been reported in the UK newspapers that a police officer refused to sit on a bicycle for a press photocall, as he had not passed a cycling proficiency test!

PC Tony Cobban of Lancashire Police, based in Preston, said, "I was just being cautious. I'd be concerned that something happens to me while on the bike and it hasn't been risk assessed."

A slightly braver colleague stood in for him. Councillor Geoff Driver said, "The mind boggles," whereas his Inspector, Nick Emmett, defended him, saying that officers needed training, "for the safety of themselves and the public."

So, he can run after criminals carrying knives and guns but, heaven forbid, he can't use a bike to catch them.

Credit Crunch? What Credit Crunch?

While Russia's two-legged population feels the financial pinch, designer lines from sportswear to mink coats, evening gowns to bootees are being snapped up... for the nation's dogs.

For mankind's four-legged friends the rigours of the Russian winter have long required some extra layers to keep out the cold.

But the jewel-encrusted, over-the-top creations on offer today, together with perfumes, facial masks and Swarkovski-studded leads, go way beyond the imaginings of, say, the 19th century writer Anton Chekhov, who touched on the phenomenon of women and their dogs in "Lady with Lapdog."

Unlocking the commercial potential of the instinct to pamper one's pooch are designers like Svetlana Abramova, who in 2004 launched her own brand, Very Stylish Dog, and is now breaking into the foreign market.

She started out making clothes for humans, but began designing for her chihuahua Boniya in 2001 which soon became a full-time business.

"When I went out with Boniya dressed up really fashionably, everyone would ask me where I got the clothes from. Little by little I lost all interest in human fashion," said Abramova.

Having got to grips with canine chic, Abramova last year created a range of matching woman and dog outfits for American firm Diamond Dogs, due to go on display in London in March and later in Los Angeles.

The luxury London department store Harrods has ordered a new autumn collection, she says.

And along with fur coats and day, evening and sports wear, her customers can push the boundaries of good taste as never before with costumes that allow their dogs to pose as bees, angels, emergency service workers or nurses.

Her dog garments "are cut with respect for the rules of human haute couture," said Abramova, reassuringly.

"We use only natural materials -- jersey, cashmere and silk -- because some dogs are allergic to synthetic materials," she noted.

Shops like Charli in central Moscow offer not only dog apparel but numerous accessories -- including dog rucksacks for venturing far from home turf.

Charli can also give your dog a manicure and dye or plait its hair.

"The clothes are not only about beauty but protect your animal from the cold," stressed the shop's co-owner, Edita Lys, who says business is holding up and the shop gets about 20 visitors a day at weekends. Most are "middle class," she asserts.

But while it is not unusual to see Russian women in restaurants and nightspots with a dog on one arm, the economic crisis has led to some stylistic changes.

"We today make more clothes in casual style -- more comfortable, more day-to-day and less luxury. Our clothes are being priced more accessibly but remain elegant and fashionable," said the marketing director of Very Stylish Dog, Nail Abrarov.

"The dogs very quickly get used to the clothes, which protect them from cold and mud. The owners, who treat the dogs like their children, don't want them to get sick," he said.

Kicking Up A Stink In Court.

Bristol Crown Court was overcome by the potent smell of garlic on Tuesday, causing at least two courtrooms to close.

It is thought garlic oil was spread along radiators and dropped in plant pots causing defendants, court staff, members of the public and barristers to leave the building with nausea and headaches.

Crime scene investigators took samples of the substance for analysis after CCTV captured a man dousing the areas with the liquid.

The Ministry of Justice said it was reviewing security at the court.

The substance was found to be harmless but the court had to bring in industrial cleaners as the smell was still lingering.

The 50-year-old man is in custody being questioned.

Avon and Somerset Police would only say he was arrested in connection with the incident but that they were treating it as an act of criminal damage or an offence of administering a noxious substance.

In a country that already boasts the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe, people in the UK often joke about how having a child should be on the school syllabus.

Worry no more, folks - NOW you can get a GCSE in it.

Edexcel, the UK's biggest examination board, is to recognise teen parenting courses already coordinated by the National Community Learning Partnership.

There is no lower age limit, and some girls on the courses are under 12, where they can learn such useful things as stopping smoking during pregnancy, breastfeeding, keeping a budget and voting rights.

Sheila King, from the NCLP, said, "Research has shown the young people who do our courses have healthier babies."

Bravo, Sheila, and a huge thanks from all us taxpayers.